Welcome to my words.

This entire website is topsy turvy as of late. The only time it’s not is when it’s turvy topsy. And even then, I can’t tell my bloggy from my elbow. Until we get things calm here, please enjoy this Mozart concerto. What? We can’t get the orchestra to play? That’s it. I quit. Hey Frankie, call your cousin and tell him I’m available for that bricklaying job. What? Your brother got it? Oh come on! He said he’d hold it for me til Tuesday! No, I’m not calling your cousin a liar. I’m just saying he’s a dirty, rotten bag of jerk flesh who wouldn’t know a hard worker if one fell on his head. Yeah, tell him I said so. I don’t care. My website’s all broke. That’s fine. This’ll give me more time to work on it. No, don’t do me no favors, Frankie. I’ll be all right. You worry about yourself. Sheesh.

Of Trees And Infinite Space

Of Trees And Infinite Space

Hey bloggy! How are ya? I notice you’ve got an abundance of tree and outdoor pics on your surface page. How’d that happen?

Well, if you must know, my author is incompetent when it comes to photo research. He basically just uses one free photo site to pluck out generic images, and most of the time they are pastoral nature shots. I kind of like it, actually.

The bloggy’s become self aware and is a fan of the outdoors! Run for it!

After my initial shock wears off, I believe I will seek out a pleasing, leafy eye catcher and place it below.

Ah. That’s the stuff.

Ah. That’s the stuff.

So what are we talking about today? Infinite space. Oh yeah! Buckle in, cow pokes! This sounds like it could get lengthy, heady, and weird! Not that it hasn’t already.

Humans cannot fathom infinity. And yet, we can as we have a clearly defined word for it. It’s like when you think of what’s out there beyond the beyond. How far does space go, bud?

—Eh, I dunno, to like, infinity?

Right you are! But what does that mean? Let’s boil it down to a simpler construct of the concept.

Squarespace’s Infinite Scroll

I am not a web designer. If you inscribe “he was a web designer” on my tombstone, I’ll deny it. Also, I’m not sure I’m going to even have a tombstone because I’m too chicken 💩 to follow through on the mortality discussion with the missus. Also, I just used the poop emoji in a bloggy entry. Emojis will not be used as a recurring crutch here on out. Don’t get used to it.

Wasted Words 👆Move Along

Being that I couldn’t HTML my way out of a hyperventilation chamber, I chose to use Squarespace for all my website needs. I’m not going to go into a comparison of other sites here and now but I will say that back when I decided to take the plunge, the decision was based on many factors, most of all being ease of use. Of all the platforms I trialed, this one made me want to hang myself the least. Go square! Hey hey space!

Of course, with an idiot-proof website builder, you’re gonna have to make stylistic sacrifices here and there. This is never more apparent than when you’re choosing your site template.

Templates of Doom

I love the look of my current site and it’s not even finalized. I thought it was. My first iteration was upon a different template, Brine. It was a good look for what I needed to get up and running. Then I dug a little deeper and found my current template, Rally, which is pretty enough and does all the right things. But it doesn’t dive down into infinity.

There are only a handful of template options that offer infinite scrolls on blogs. For those who don’t know, infinite scroll just means that if you’re on someone’s main bloggy page (and they have a template that allows the function), you can scroll until the cows come home to roost. You will see the intro text, date, and chosen image for every single blog entry they’ve ever composed. Sadly, the current template I have does not allow for infinite space in infinite scroll land. So instead, if you ever want to go beyond my latest 30 or so bloggys, you (yes you!) have to take it upon yourself to do some work and either click a tag or a month or search a word or term or phrase or species of bug in the sidebar. Good grief! Too much hassle!

So what’s a poor schlub to do? Squarespace doesn’t allow you to combine templates, so we’re into changing the look of my site once again, I believe it would have a general look and feel of SOLELY a blog. But that’s not all I want it to be. I want it to also be a place of unadulterated (and sometimes non-unadulterated) imagination that includes links to my latest book, free offerings, and newsletter. I guess I need to keep my face on here, too. (Though that one I could take or leave, whichever makes me give the appearance of a confident man who could be the love child of Magnum P.I. and Tom Selleck. What?)

In the coming days or weeks (meh, maybe I’ll do it now), this website may undergo yet another overhaul within a sideways universe. If you notice these changes manifesting themselves, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

One thing I do know is that one of the few Squarespace templates that allows for infinite scrolling is called “Skye.” And that’s my daughter’s name! Chances are I’m gonna probably give that one a test run for that reason alone. It’s makes the most and best sense, here in Arbitrary County.

Last thing for today: My wife just delivered our third baby on Friday. He was over two weeks early because we have Amazon Prime! Or something more directly related to uterus science.

It’s a boy, ya’ll!

God bless us every one.

Look at how cute we’d look if this was us! Spoiler: This is not us.

Look at how cute we’d look if this was us! Spoiler: This is not us.

Skye Template In Flight

Skye Template In Flight

Toni Morrison — I Hardly Knew Ye

Toni Morrison — I Hardly Knew Ye