The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark — Act III
Act III
A room in the castle. Probably the solarium.
King Claudius has a secret pow wow with his wifey poo, Queen Gertrude, Ophelia, Polonius, Rosencrantz, and Guildenstern. He asks them what they think of Hamlet’s crazy town demeanor. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern (two fellows who might as well be the same person as they’re never separated) agree that Hamlet seems distressed and not himself but they believe that’s natural. They report that he seems excited about the players who came to the castle, and for the play they are putting on that very night.
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern say they’ll keep a close eye on him, though. I feel like they’ve already vowed this. Anyway, they exit.
Claudius tells Queen Gertrude to scram. Polonius and even himself, too. Because Hamlet’s coming, ya’ll! And the King wants Ophelia to be alone with him. If she can’t soothe his mind with her womanly wiles, then surely no one can. Weird, Claudius. But I’ll allow it. Because guess what’s coming?!
Are you sitting down? Then stand up and take notice. Because you’ll never see the likes of this soliloquy again. It’s equal exists in no other literature known to man.
It begins:
To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing them? To die: to sleep;
No more…
He goes on, in brilliant fashion, to expound on the existential human condition. Of the importance of life itself and the confounding mystery of death. If you read no other Shakespeare in your entire life, read this soliloquy in its entirety. Then read it again. Then think on it. Then sleep on it. Then forget it for awhile and come back to it. Then treat yourself to some ice cream maybe because life is, in fact, good. And the things you do in this life, whether they affect few or many, matter. You matter. Shakespeare’s insights into who we are matter, even when he uses Hamlet to question it all.
Our noble prince finishes up and notices Ophelia lurking in the shadows. He asks her if she’s honest. She is confused. Because it is an irregular question. He tells her that her beauty shouldn’t matter as long as she is honest and fair. Then he tells her he never loved her, even though he admitted to loving her in the past. Harsh. But it gets worse because he tells her to
Get thee to a nunnery!
over and over again to drive the message home. It’s enough to make a girl dotty!
Hamlet explains that women drive men mad. He tells Ophelia that if she must marry, may she be chaste and cold as ice. His hex hits her hard. And why wouldn’t it? He’s being such a meanie!
Even so, she prays to the Heavens to alleviate his mind. And that’s when Claudius and Polonius return. They were hiding in the corner, behind a curtain or something. They heard the whole thing and cannot believe their own ears. Hamlet is even more batshit than they’d ever imagined.
It is decided that later that night, after the play, if Hamlet’s still acting like a lunatic, they will ship him off to England and everyone will be the better for it.
Scene ii
A hall in the castle.
Hamlet meets with the players of the theater troupe before their performance and has the audacity to give them notes. He tells them not to overplay it. Don’t ham it up. Which is damned near hilarious because no one is more of an over exuberant over actor than he!
He also tells them not to be too tame and be honest to the words. He’s showing extreme concern for this play. Because remember, he wrote his own small scene to be added within it. It’s the one he thinks will entrap Claudius and give away his guilt as a king and brother killer! In other words, there’s a lot riding on this play.
And here comes gentle Horatio!
What ho! Horatio!
Hamlet lets him in on his plan. He asks Horatio to join him in keeping a close eye on his uncle when the players act out the scene he wrote.
Hey, here comes the King now, along with Queen Gertrude, Ophelia, Polonius, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern (still two separate people).
They all sit to enjoy the play. Hamlet has his fun by goading Ophelia with questionable sexual passes. For instance, he asks if he should “lay his head in her lap between her legs.”
Dude. I know you’re kind of an emotional disaster right now but leave the poor girl alone.
The play within the play begins and right away, Hamlet’s trap is set.
I thought they were going to sit and watch some other story for awhile and ease into the trickery but nope. He’s going straight for the jugular.
The players act out a scene Claudius should be familiar with. A king at rest is done in by his brother who very specifically pours poison into his ear. Next, the Queen character enters, seems hesitant at first, but then goes to the brother, offering her love.
Spot on.
How did Hamlet come to these exact specifics? His father, the ghost gave him the gruesome details of his own death. So, when Hamlet’s plan works and his uncle shirks at the actions on stage, our young protagonist is proven to be sane, right? Right?! Ay, therein lies the rub.
The prologue begins.
What? Then what were we already treated to? Strange. The on stage characters of the new King and Queen put on a good show of dialogue. I assume some of this (if not all) was what Hamlet wrote. All of it reeks of hitting home, striking his uncle where it’s supposed to hurt most, right on his guilt bone.
Hamlet really gets into it. He asks his mother how she likes the play so far and… get this! Gertrude says
The lady protests too much, methinks.
Uh, yeah she does!
The poisoning comes er, again? Perhaps earlier in the stage directions, we were just being told what the play was going to be about, and now it’s actually unfolding? I guess that would make more sense.
At any rate, the king is poisoned in the ear and Claudius can’t stand to watch. So he stands to leave. It’s incredible! Never in his wildest imaginations could Hamlet have guessed his ensnarement could ensnare so well.
Horatio agrees. It was pretty obvious that Claudius was upset by the plot.
Guildenstern agrees, too. And he’s solidified on Team Hamlet. Even though Hamlet himself says here that his mind is in a state of “distemper” over everything, Guildenstern (who just might be without his Rosencrantz here!) all but swears his allegiance back to Hamlet. For he is his man, through and through. He will do whatever Hamlet wishes of him.
The players return and Hamlet asks Guildenstern to play a recorder. There’s some fun word play about music in here. Not a whole lot else.
Polonius enters delivering a message that Queen Gertrude wishes to see her son. So Hamlet goes to her.
Let me be cruel, not unnatural:
I will speak daggers to her, but use none
Scene iii
A room in the castle. Too specific?
Claudius and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern enter. The king wants Hamlet’s friends to double down on their spying techniques. They seem to be on board. What the hell, dudes? You playing both sides here? I thought you were Hamlet’s homies? What gives?
The two chuckleheads exit and Polonius enters. He reports that Hamlet is going to talk to his mother. Polonius says it’s absolutely no trouble for him to go and hide in the room while Mom and son powwow. “I’ll get back to you,” Polonius says and then rushes off to get in position behind a curtain (arras).
Claudius gives a believable and heartfelt soliloquy where he appears to feel quite a bit of remorse. I say “believable” because he’s talking to himself here. So why would he lie?
Though he feels shame for what he’s done (brother murdering and wife taking and all), what can he do about it now? The deeds are done, he says. The crown and the woman are his. Might as well enjoy it.
So all right, Claudius’ redemption was short lived. He “retires and kneels” which I take to mean he’s gone nigh nigh. Hamlet enters and totally out-soliloquies Claudius’ soliloquy. Hamlet grapples with whether or not to kill the King right here and now. He desires vengeance, sure, but if he kills him while he is at peace, Claudius will likely go to Heaven and that’s too good for him. So, Hamlet decides to hold off and wait til the King is “At gaming, swearing, or about some act / That has no relish of salvation in’t.”
Well dang, I sure hope blackjack and casual cursing doesn’t lock you out of Heaven!
Claudius speaks again when Hamlet leaves. He comments on his prayers he’s just said. So ohhhh kay. He didn’t go nigh nigh after all, he was just kneeling and praying.
Yeah no, Hamlet, you made the right choice. You can’t kill a man while he’s talking to God. Good on ya’, brother.
Scene iv
The Queen’s closet. Saucy.
My ebook reads, “Enter Queen MARGARET and Polonius.” Margaret? Who the hell is Margaret? It’s Gertrude, guys! C’mon! Anyway, that’s the editor in me freaking out. No worries.
Polonius asks Margaret/Gertrude to set Hamlet straight. Because if a mother can’t do it, who can? Then he goes and hides behind the arras (curtain).
This next bit happens quick so let’s pay close attention.
Did you miss it? Ahhh, let’s go back and read again. I told you it was quick!
Gertrude accuses Hamlet of forgetting her. Hamlet says “no! It is you who have forgotten and offended my father, mother!”
Then, Gertrude loses all sense of reality and starts screaming for help. She thinks her son is going to murder her.
Is he? I don’t see it. I think he’s just trying to reason with her. But she loses control and then this happens…
Upon shouting for help, Polonius makes a noise behind the arras. Hamlet hears him, calls him a rat, and stabs violently (Is there any other way to stab?) through the curtain.
Polonius, stabbed, falls and dies.
He must be all wrapped and bloodied in the curtain because Hamlet thinks it’s the King. But no, it’s very much Polonius.
When Polonius is revealed (still quite dead), Hamlet takes the opportunity to yell at the corpse, saying it’s his fault for being such a Nosy Nellie. And frankly, is he wrong?
Hamlet next berates his mother. He does not relent. He drives her insane with his biting words. He’s so brutal with her that even his dead father’s ghost has to show up and say, “Calm down, Guy. Look to your mother.”
Hamlet (taking his father’s ghost’s advice) asks Gertrude if she’s OK.
“Do I look OK?!” she hollers. Or something to that effect. She then asks who Hamlet is talking to. He says, “It’s me dead Daddy, Ma. Don’t you see him?” No. No she does not. And it brakes her heart to know for sure now that Hamlet is crazed.
All right. Let’s get Horatio in here to testify. He’s seen the ghost! What is up?!
Ghost Daddy is either playing fast and loose with the spirit rules or he’s purposefully striving to send his son straight to the nuthouse. I guess it is not for us mere mortals to question the motivations of the dead. But still… you just gotta feel for Hamlet here. Poor, broody, misunderstood, quick-tempered, partially-accidental, murderous Hamlet.
The scene goes on, but much like Polonius, it has died. Gertrude is now certain of Hamlet’s sanity — that it has flown the coop. She says “Oh woe is me, what am I to do?” meaning she is beside herself with grief over her son’s madness. Hamlet takes her worry (which I hope it was obvious I uber-paraphrased) to mean she does not know how to proceed with the King, now that she’s learned he murdered her husband. Anyway, maybe she partially buys into that. Probably more than partially because you’d have to be blind not to at this point.
Hamlet tells her to try to go about business as usual.
“Let Claudius kiss and paw at you and pretend all is normal. I have to go to England with my two best mates, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, for some reason. They’re the best though, and they would never betray me, so it’s cool. You just hang in there, Mom. Everything’s gonna be jussssssst … wait for it! … fine.”
Then he drags Polonius’ heavy corpse offstage, “severely.”
I. Love. This. Play.
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